May 2015

Dear Friends,

Hello from Thailand!   The season has just changed from hot to rainy and it has been a welcome change.  When we landed here on May 3^rd at 11 PM the pilot cheerfully announced that it was 95 degrees outside.  All I could think was, yep, that sounds right! 

I don’t remember when I have been so busy.  I must have been crazy to take an online course over my summer break.  I thought that having two weeks of overlapping end of course and first week of school wouldn’t be a big deal.  It was a big deal.  I had jet lag, final projects to do, and found out I am teaching an extra grade and three health classes on top of the full schedule I already had.   I teach 7^th through 9^th grade, English and Health.  In so many ways, what I am doing now is like being a first year teacher, I am writing lesson plans for every class, nothing I did last year is transferrable to this new teaching situation.  Last year I taught “Where are you going? I am going to the market”.  This year I am teaching  Romeo and Juliet.  The only thing last year has been helpful for was learning to manage a class which of course is the same everywhere.

We ended up with 4 students coming with us.  We lost one because her father decided he didn’t want her to go so far away from him.  Another girl just decided she wanted to stay in Mae Chaem a few more years and maybe come to the city when she was in 10^th grade.  So we have two girls and two boys.  They are the brave ones.  The boys looked a little shocked the first week and I was a bit worried about them.  They seem to be doing better.  Our 12^th grader, who I was worried about the most (she has NO classes in Thai, only English) seems to be doing the best.  She seems happy and enjoys the challenge.  Our 9^th grader, who was always first in her class is struggling with not being the best.  She is so competitive, she cannot bear not being the best.  But there are kids in her class who have a mom or dad who are from a Western country and are basically native speakers.    One girl in her class speaks 4 languages, plays the piano and is good at everything.  I tell her, just ignore her because people like that are annoying.  Do your best and you will be fine.

I see her struggle with perfectionism and I see myself.  Being a perfectionist and trying to be a teacher do not go together.  I find I can lose a nights sleep over losing my temper in class, or teaching a boring lesson or a million other things I do wrong.    What we are doing here is so difficult that it is teaching me to rely on God more and more.  I finally just told God this week, I am never going to be any good at this unless You make me good.  It gives me peace to think of it that way.  All I can do is my best and trust God for creative ideas, for wisdom, for grace, for strength, for energy and for love for my students.

I thought when we came to Chiang Mai, that it was for our 4 students and that was our ministry here.  I love working with poor children,  that is all I have ever done.   I had no interest in working with kids who can afford a private school like the one we work at.  However, I am seeing how starved many of these students are for love and attention and I wonder what further purpose God has for me with them.   I know God will show me more about His plan and how I can help these kids. 

I feel so blessed in so many ways.  We have a lovely home now and so many comforts that we didn’t have before.  I do like my job though it is totally consuming and I work all the time.   I know that I never feel God’s presence as much as I do when I am in Thailand.  It is not what I would have chosen for myself, but it is pretty clear that this is my place in the world.  I trust the One who knows me better than I know myself and loves me unconditionally and lavishly.  Our neighborhood is filled with plumeria blossoms.  These are the flowers that you often see on a Hawaiian lei.  The ones we have are pure white and very fragrant.  The trees are absolutely full of these gorgeous, fragrant flowers and they shower the ground with blossoms.  I often look for a perfect one to pick it up and bring home to put in a bowl of water.  There are so many and they speak to me of God’s grace, so lavish, so extravagant and so absolutely lovely that it seems almost wasteful.   His Grace is like that, filling our lives with its beauty and fragrance, if we dare to walk, every day, with Him. 

We love you all,

Candace